| Base Rate |
| For the first six months, allow $10.00 for every month |
+________ |
| For the second six months, $5.00 for each additional month |
+________ |
| For more than a year, $1.00 for each additional month |
+________ |
| subtotal (A) |
=________ |
| Bonuses and Penalties |
| If she has not yet "put out", subtract $5.00 per month |
-________ |
| If she has "put out", add a nickel for every month |
+________ |
| If she can cook a good meal, add $0.50 |
+________ |
| If she quietly brings your beer during football games add $1.00 |
+________ |
| If she "nags", subtract $1.37 per month |
-________ |
| For an A cup, subtract $2.03 |
-________ |
| For every cup size over B add $1.02 |
+________ |
| For every inch of chest over 30" add $0.13 |
+________ |
| For every pound over 120lbs subtract $0.54 |
-________ |
| If her butt is so tight you can bounce a quarter, add the quarter |
+________ |
| subtotal (B) |
=________ |
| Now calculate the grand total |
| total (A + B) |
=________ |